Holidays and Health

I guess we're full-swing into the holidays now ... Thanksgiving has past ... my birthday is Saturday (woo hoo) and my entire company celebrates it (well, it's called a holiday party) ... and Christmas activities are running at full-tilt! It's hard to find the time to eat, much less eat healthy. And, even getting out of bed in the morning is hard with the cold and the rain and the snow that we've been having.

However, at our meeting 2 weeks ago (I think the night before Thanksgiving) we talked about what gift we would give ourselves over the holiday and wrote it on a paper, folded it and stuck on a bow. I put mine on the dash of my van just to remind me of my goals through the end of the year.

I will make sure to get enough rest and take care of myself.
I will continue to track food and forgive myself if I'm not perfect.
I will continue to attend meetings because I need them and they need me.

So, last night in the snow and slush, I went to my meeting and was rewarded with a 2 pound loss on the scale! I was really surprised because I didn't feel I had followed the plan a lot and I didn't rack up as many activity points as I wanted, but I've also been too busy to snack a lot!

These goals are a long-term gift to myself -- a new, healthy body that looks better in smaller clothes -- a less stressed, frantic me -- the support I need to make these changes permanent.

Those are the things that little green bow on the dash remind me of.

Did you hear that breaking sound???

I finally pushed through -- at weigh-in tonight, I was 169.8! I've been bouncing around that 170 number but this is the first time I've bounced below that mark. And, after Thanksgiving week, even!

I enjoyed Thanksgiving and ate what I wanted every day, but just tried to really control my portions so that I didn't go over my daily or weekly points.

My "winning outcome" over the holidays is to to continue exercising regularly, despite all the activity that could lure me away. I'm also going to watch my emotional barometer and ask for help or take a break when I need to. And, I'm going to eat mindfully -- whether at a party or church gathering or some other food-centric event.

What's your holiday plan? Do you have one?

We are .... PENN STATE!

My oldest has decided she NEEDS to go to Penn State so we went and toured on Friday -- what a GREAT school! Makes me wish I was starting all over again -- which means the negative self-talk and depression really had a party in my head! While I'm listening to the "you can do anything with your life" stories, depression is screaming "you didn't even TRY to accomplish anything ... you missed your chance to really make a difference ... why didn't you (insert whatever) ...?"

Every time we go visit a school I get incredibly emotional and usually quite depressed. I look back at my college years and I don't even remember CONSIDERING that I could do something outside the limits of what I had grown up believing were real limits. The regrets of what "might have been" pile up into a sloppy, gelatinous glob of self-pity and self-destruction.

But, then I look over at my incredible daughter -- smart, independent, self-confident and self-motivated -- and I think, "hey, I didn't do so bad with her..." In her college application essays, I hear a spirit of generosity and service that I feel are a direct reflection of the things I hold important in life and tried to teach my kids. And, then, very quietly, some other part of myself reminds me of the good things in life I have done (other than raise 3 happy, healthy kids):

I went on a mission trip to India for 14 days and taught 1000's of kids about my loving God. I also taught some native pastors there how to make balloon animals so that they could draw crowds to listen to the gospel long after the "white people" were gone.

I finished my master's degree just after turning 41.

I've worked for 18 years in my industry and I STILL love the work I do.

I organized a group at my church who fed families who were forced to live in motels or be homeless.

I learned to play the harp and spin wool into yarn and took drawing classes and have tried a ton of obscure hobbies. I've knitted and crocheted hundreds of baby hats, blankets and sweaters to donate to various charities.

I'm learning to care for my body, feed it healthier and losing weight after hating my body for years.

I've struggled through depression and still lived to tell about it.

I'm learning not to look back at what I didn't do, but to feel good about what I have done and to look forward with eyes searching for things I can still do to make my life, my family and my world a better place. That's not so insignificant!

Moving in the right direction

Well, I did the 90 minute spin class on Monday and then found myself in there again for a 45 minute class on Wednesday. I did some of the "out of seat" jumps and hills and felt OK. I also got the bike out this morning (in the balmy 50 degree weather) and did a 6 mile ride, so I can say I (almost) officially feel like a biker babe!

The weight's moving the right way, too ... down 1.4 pounds this week. I'm trying so hard to bust that 170 mark -- it's been like the wall I haven't managed to climb yet or that hill I always have to push the bike up. But, if I have to push the body all the way over it, I WILL break that 170 pound mark!

And, today, I'm registering for the Danskin triathlon next September. The friend that dragged me into spinning did it this year and I'm SO jealous! I've wanted to try it for 2 years now, but kept telling myself I can't. Well, next year I CAN and I've got enough time now to start training, so I'm going to spend the money to register today and make it happen!

Stay tuned!

Losing inches -- feeling proud!

Went to the health club this morning for my nurse's assessment. We're members of RWJ http://www.rwjhamilton.org/wellness/ health and wellness center -- the BEST health club in the world! I can have a free personal training session once every 12 weeks and a nurse's assessment.

In the past 12 weeks (since the last one), I've lost almost 14.25 inches on the neck, chest, waist, abs, hips, arms and thighs. How cool is that!!! I needed this boost because the numbers on the scale haven't been moving so fast, but those inches have been!

Yesterday I took my first spin class -- a beginner class -- and the instructor was so good about helping to set up the bikes and explain what the goal is in spinning -- to keep that heart rate pumping and burn some calories. You could tell he was very knowledgeable about what he was teaching and he was passionate about it. There's a 90 minute class tomorrow at 5:15 am (my normal exercise time UGHHHH) that I may just have to go visit.

Just another weapon in my arsenal in the war against fat!

One of THOSE days!

I know I'm not the only one that has "those" kinds of days but it seems like there are times when that's all that's strung together to make a week. Family pressures pile up and sit in the back of your mind ready to spring forward if you have a quiet, peaceful moment or when riding the bike or exercising. Like if I'm doing something good for me and my body, the bad stuff I'm wanting to avoid just pushes it's way to the front of the line.

I know what my therapist would say "Just feel the emotions and be okay with them", but I don't want to feel pissy about my kids not doing laundry (or even getting it in the hamper) and I don't want to feel like I'm on eggshells with the husband. I guess that's a lot of where depression comes from ... not wanting to feel.

So, this morning, while I was riding in the dark, when those thoughts came up, I felt a little sad and angry and frustrated and wondered why things have to be so hard sometimes, but I rode anyway. I took it a little slower than normal, so that I was feeling my emotions and trying to be okay with them instead of trying desperately to outrun them. They were all waiting there back at home for me anyway.

And, one of the emotions I'm feeling right now is pride that I got out there and rode.

Bucks County Covered Bridge Ride

Completed the 20 mile ride on Sunday and it was great! I was surprised how much of a mental challenge it was because of negative self-talk leading up to and during the ride. But I can't tell you how much of an athlete I felt like just completing the ride. The weather was perfect (cool but not too cold) and the leaves were gorgeous. I love that (in case you didn't get that from my other posts).

We rode on the highway for a long way -- with great, wide bike lanes -- and I opted for the bike path on the way back because I do a lot of that around home, anyway.

Here's a pic of me riding -- next time I will smile :) I look very serious but I tried to lighten up and just enjoy the ride, too ... after all, that was the whole point of being there!

Fall is in the air

What a beautiful weekend here in Jersey! The weather was WONDERFUL for the high school football game and a little fall baseball. Hubby and the boys went to a Phillies game after the football game Saturday and #1 daughter was busy preparing for the homecoming dance, so I had some guilt-free ride time coming! I rode for 17 miles along the D&R Canal and had a WONDERFUL time! The path is hard-packed dirt most of the way and even though there were a LOT of people out walking and/or riding, it was still a pretty fast-paced ride ... more than I thought I could ever do! It makes me feel better about the ride I've signed up for in two weeks ... the Buck's County Covered Bridge ride. There are 20 and 30 mile versions that are flat and the others are all over 30 miles and include hills -- so I'm sticking to the flatter version. The day of the race, I'll decide whether to do the 20 or 30 miles based on how I'm feeling (and how hard the wind is blowing, probably!)

The best thing about all the increased activity, riding and losing weight is how good I'm feeling! I am currently being treated for depression and my therapist and I talk a lot about how the exercise is even better than drugs to help me feel better. Since I've ramped up the exercise and controlled the eating, I've been able to reduce a couple of my meds and even drop two altogether. Now THAT's something to be happy about!

More later on how the ride shapes up!

Exciting week!

Two exciting things to report: First, I got the new bike and went on a ride I've been wanting to do for a long time -- along the D&R Canal close to my home in New Jersey. It's a beautiful ride, about 12 miles of nice hard-packed trail and was really fun to do in the quiet of the morning. The new bike is a dream -- it flies down the road and on the bike path and I'm LOVING it!

Also, great weight loss this week -- down over 2 pounds which put me over the 25 pound mark total. It felt so good to see a budge as I have been gaining and losing the same 5 pounds for a few weeks now. But, when I figured out my average, I've averaged 1.6 pounds a week since starting Weight Watchers, so I'm going to stop complaining!

I'm really starting to feel thinner and healthier and I FINALLY had 2 people at work ask me if I'm losing weight. That's a nice feeling after 25 pounds!!! :)

My next incremental goal is to be at the 160 mark by the Senior Honor football game. My daughter's band captain at her high school and at this game, they introduce each senior in football, cheer or band and they walk out on the field with their parents. I want to have a bright red, wrap dress that I feel really beautiful in! I'm going to start shopping now and keep trying it on to get that motivation going. I have about 6 weeks until the game, so if I maintain the 1.6 a week, I could hit it. Can't wait to find out!

Fall is in the air!

This is my favorite time of year -- being a Southern girl originally, I never really experienced fall before we moved here. We moved here in the fall and I remember looking at the house we have now on a fall afternoon, with the high school band practicing off in the distance and it just seeming like a picture-perfect postcard kind of day.

This morning, I got the new bike out and rode about 7 miles ... on a new road I hadn't gone down before. The wind was blowing so it was a tough ride but the road was clear and went through a woody area, so it really felt like I was far away from home. It was beautiful!

I'm going back tomorrow to enjoy it again and I feel a little renewed in staying on plan with the food and exercising just a LITTLE more!

Disappointing week -- fresh start (again!)

Had a small weight loss this week -- .6 -- but I was really hoping for more. But, I know I didn't do a good job staying on the food plan either, so that's a major contributor!

I'm loving the additional weight lifting and I WON'T stop that by believing I'm going to hulk up or that I'd lose more weight if I didn't lift so much. I know those are all myths and that I need the strength training for long-term success. It's just frustrating right now that I can't drop the weight I want to right now! I want it all and I want it NOW!!! :)

So, rather than whine and complain, here's the plan: Go back to the basics of counting food, keep up the good exercise and build some health! The weight loss will follow along, I'm sure!

Pick up the new bike tomorrow and I can't wait!!! Here's a link http://www.trekbikes.com/us/en/bikes/2008/bike_path/fx/72fx/ -- but mine is red! I'm so excited about it, I'm going to burn a ton of calories just playing around with it this weekend! I also got a book about cycling and heart rate monitoring, so that I can incorporate the fitness part in with the fun and vice-versa.

Now that I talked about the bike, I KNOW I'll be getting in the AP's this week and I can use that as motivation and incentive to stay on plan -- more AP's mean more food! Should make it doable!

Laboring over Labor Day

The holiday weekend turned into a challenge for me and I gained 2.2 pounds this week. I really refuse to stress over that -- I had a wonderful, relaxing weekend with my daughter (hubby and boys were out of town) and we enjoyed some beautiful weather. I exercised like a mad woman and it's that TOM, so the weight gain is just one of those things and it should be better under control next week.

I read a really interesting article in Women's Health magazine http://www.womenshealthmag.com/article/0,6176,s1-1-111-1847-1,00.html?cm_re=HP-_-News.Slider-_-cardio.vs..strength that talks about the differences between strength training and cardio training. As a result, I'm planning to cut back my cardio just a little (I was up to almost an hour a day 6 days a week) and do more strength training. My new plan is cardio 6 days a week for 35 minuts each with weight training for 20-25 minutes on top of that 5-6 days. I'll alternate upper and lower body so that I'm not working the same body parts 2 days in a row. But, it'll be interesting to see if the muscles will actually burn more fat for weight loss and if I'll start seeing more muscle definition and less inches.

Also planning to buy a new bike. Mine is a mountain bike and it feels like I'm sludging through mud when I ride (which was great for the off-road riding in California -- not so great for the roads/bike paths in New Jersey). I'm going to sell the old one and use the money towards a new Trek hybrid -- maybe this one: http://www.trekbikes.com/us/en/bikes/2008/bike_path/fx/72fx/ . Can't wait to get back into the 15-20 mile rides my hubby and I were doing when we first met. I can just remember feeling very strong riding like that and I want it again!

Nice loss this week

This week turned out better than it had started. I lost 1.2 pounds after a really rough start to the week. It was one of those "emotional" eating struggles. I never realized how often I have problems with emotional eating until I started this journey. Now, I realize it's one of my biggest battles. I did better than the last "rough spot" because this time, I really tried to be in control -- seeing the desire to eat as an emotional response and not really hunger.

Of course, exercise is really helping me stay on track. I'm averaging about 500 calories a day lost through treadmill, rowing, weight lifting, whatever I can do to move the body! And, it's paying off. Even though the weight loss seems slow, I'm doing it the "healthy" way -- averaging a little less than 2 pounds a week. But, I can tell I've had a huge increase in energy levels and a huge decrease in stomach size.

I think the next updated pictures will come when I cross into the 160's -- hopefully within the next 2 weeks.

Great Week -- Great Weigh-in

After the challenging week last week, I decided to get back to basics. I read through some of my old food trackers (week 1 and 2) and realized I was eating a lot more carbs and a lot less fruit than I was before. I

stayed on plan the entire week and exercised my 6 times and it worked! I lost 5.8 pounds!!! That's still a healthy number (even though it raised a few eyebrows) because I had gained 2.6 the week before, so my "net loss" was really about 3.2 pounds this week.

It doesn't really matter -- I know I ate and exercised and felt great -- not just after the weigh-in, but the whole week! Weeks like this make me feel like I can actually reach my goal. I just have to stick with it!

What a Roller Coaster!

Well, after all the whining last week, I decided to go back to my week 1 tracker and duplicate the efforts I did there to get back on track. I exercised 6 days and stayed on plan and I lost an amazing 5.8 pounds! That's incredible! I was very surprised but then, I did what I was supposed to do!

This is quite a strange little journey sometimes (life and weight loss) but I'm determined to stick it out until the end!

It's over!

Well, the crappy week is officially over -- I weighed in, accepted my 2.6 pound weight gain (UGH) and hit the gym this morning more determined and ready for a new week. I have my food packed (based on a day I looked at from my first week on WW's when I lost a lot) and I got in 1 hour on the rowing machine this morning.

Thank God that every morning starts a new day!!! :)

Rough weekend

It's been a rough weekend for me -- challenging to stay on plan and to exercise even once. Between the heat and cramps and bad attitude, I haven't gotten in one AP over the weekend -- very unusual for me.

How am I going to get out of this slump? I'm going to plan exercise times for the rest of the week and I think I'm going to plan for an easy week. I think I need the break! At least the first couple of days. And, I'm going to keep writing food down, even if I go over. And, I'm going to make it through this week!

Wish me luck! :)

Picture at the 20 pound / 10% mark

Here's the "newer" me at 178 pounds! About 31 to go ... I'm 2/5 there!

A Goal Met!

Tonight was weigh-in at Weight Watchers and I hit a significant goal --- 10% and 20 pounds on the same night! Had a 2 pound weight loss since lastweek. I'm SO ecstatic. I get a bad case of nerves every time I step on that scale. I tell myself I won't be disappointed if I don't lose, but knowing full-well that I will be crushed if the hard work that week hasn't paid off! Regardless, I KNOW I'm not going to quit this time. One of my BIG goals is to become a leader. I certainly have the fat before pictures to show off! I've always enjoyed teaching (Sunday school, professional classes, other fun classes like sewing and such), but I love my day job and the nice salary that comes with it. I KNOW when I become a leader, I will LOVE helping to teach others about weight loss and it will help me stay committed and accountable to my new body size.

I attribute a lot of my success to using a Polar F-11 heart rate monitor to exercise. I can stay in the optimal aerobic zone most of the time, challenge myself with a hard workout now and then, really enjoy the "long and light intensity" workout once a week. Right now, my plan is to do cardio at least 4 times a week (usually 6) and weights 2 times (not always 2). It's so much easier to do cardio than weights (for me). When I do weights, I feel like I'm wasting time because the heart rate monitor isn't pumping!

So far this month (August 1-today) I've logged 6 hours and 5 minutes of heart rate monitor activity (plus the 1-1/2 hour bellydance class Sunday where I forgot to wear the monitor) and burned 3586 calories! That's one pound of fat without even taking into account the healthy eating!

I'm loving this journey and can't wait to see what happens next week!

Here's a before picture ... Notice how happy I look! :(

This was 18 pounds ago, so I'm thinking I'll take some new ones soon, wearing the same clothes, just to see the difference. I know I FEEL different!

It starts...

Eight weeks ago, I decided I was through carrying around all this extra weight. I would catch myself looking in the mirror, staring at my stomach and thinking how much I hated it. From my before pictures, taken the day I joined Weight Watchers (June 6, 2007), you can see that I could be mistaken as being pregnant.

I had been exercising pretty regularly for a year ... doing yoga a lot and some cardiovascular work but not consistently and not with any food plan. Finally, I decided it was time to really take my health and weight seriously and get moving.

I wish I had started blogging the day I started Weight Watchers, but I can't go back and change that so I'm moving forward now. Just like I can't change the 15+ years of eating whatever I wanted without worrying about weight. All I can do is make better choices today!

My journey started then and I've already lost 18 pounds of unhealthy, excess body weight. I started in a size 16 or 18 jeans and now down to a loose 14. I'm feeling slimmer already and love that my belly doesn't stand out below my bust.

I'm exercising 6 times a week -- at least 4 cardio and 2 strengthening workouts. I've done a bellydance class (loved that) and have hiked all over my local state parks. I really feel like one of those "athletic" moms now. And, I'm loving it.

When I hear people at the WW meetings or read on the WW boards how someone has all these reasons that they can't exercise, I want to scream "HEY! We all have challenges and obstacles and barriers and busy lives ... just get over it or stay fat!" Of course, I would never talk that way! :)

Thanks for joining me and I'll try to keep you up to date.